Episode 161
<-- Previous Episode | [[Episode 162|Next Episode -->]] Length: 3:06:27 Hosts: Alex Kate Matt Mitch Guest: Lindsey Turner Intro Closing Song: Some Anime song Content Covered * Tabletop games * Furfags and queers * Katie the Potato 8 mins in * Mitch hurt is back by being a faggot buying new 3DS XL * Borderlands 2 * Alex not a fan of Attack on Titan * Alex life in shambles * Brain Pyschology * Cartoons watched as a kid * Kate's life in shambles * Fighting and lack of experience * Sex and the trannies * RA twitter bot. * Questions * Do you like feminine dick or no dick at all? * Did you figure out being gay before having sex? * Slept with a guy? Notable Facts * Kate right. 2 weeks of content of Random Assault not 1 year. * Alex had to make a redaction of bacon baby food that was made by Heinz 20 years ago. Funny Stories and Quotes Alex * Fuck you I did it. Episode over. * I have a D&D group. ** Kate - What? ** Matt - Nerds! ** Kate - What the fuck is happening? ** Matt - When I use to date Spoony that's when I learned D&D. ** Alex - I made a scientist that tried to do as little work as possible. ** Lindsey - I played D&D with a big black guy with a deep voice Desmond who played as a fairy. He was called the Destroyer of Worlds. He was screaming in a falsetto every time he was in character. * I was playing a D&D game, a portal was opened to hell. I get pulled pork sandwiches across the street and it was known as the pulled pork ending. ** Kate - I'm having trouble computing this is what Alex does. It's almost finding out someone you know for a long time is gay or a monstrous tranny. ** Alex - That's ridiculous. ** Kate - Like finding out Jayson is a furry but that doesn't surprise me. ** Mitch - My sister is his mentor. ** Lindsey - I have friends who are furries and I'm the only non furry. ** Kate - How does it feel being surrounded by degenerates? ** Lindsey - Well I'm a degenerate. ** Alex - How can you listen to this show? ** Lindsey - I'm a horrible person. * There was an old guy. I gave him a ride. I never seen him again, so I assume I killed him. * My cigarettes on his body, ejaculated ash. * What do you hate the most? ** Lindsey - Drew. * I don't want to do a contest ever again. ** Kate - I understand Mike. * I've been losing sense of time since the blizzard. * My dad looks like he has a look of disinterest but streams of tears is falling down his face. * You're a woman you always been a woman. ** Kate- Not back then. * Did Mr. Mitch teach you how to stand up for yourself? ** Mitch - (Dead Silence) * Mela told her UK friends they couldn't wrap their heads around gas station food will kill you. ** Matt - Thousands of foreigners die at our gas stations. * Andy Dick is Mitch's dad and he's dead? ** Kate - That's not generated. We said that. ** Matt - Apparently it said I would go out and fuck children, but I don't remember doing it. ** Mitch - Andy Dick is Mitch's dad and he's fucking all the children. ** Kate - It will not reply to anyone. It will not be official RA one. I don't want a scenario where it replies to a bot and is stuck in a loop. ** Alex - If the show was crazy enough, here's twitter. * If I got Penn Jillette to do a bumper I would quit the show. ** Mitch - Why? ** Alex - If Penn Jillette knows I have a show, I will kill myself in happiness. Kate * (Jay) He's a faggot! ** Matt - I know. * I saw tit tissue. ** Matt - Neat. ** Alex - Did you violently masturbate to tit tissue you sick weirdo? * We talk about gays a lot. * How do you have too much semen? * Cunt face. ** Alex - C'unt Fa'se. * Mitch you injured back fuck nose. * If it's David Rhinehart fucked up, it's not fucked up. * Vsauce is kind of a faggot. * I was accepted to go to a school of gifted mutants. I didn't go because I didn't want to make new friends. * Lost is 10 years old? No no no no. * You're better than Jayson. The meme furry queen faggot. ** Alex - Can we go into break? ** Matt - No we're talking about memes. ** Alex - I'll go to sleep in the death zone. * I hate my life. Nothing has been in my ass for a long time. ** Alex - Define long time. ** Kate - Months. So tight it doesn't work anymore. How far have I fucking fallen. ** Alex - Fucking my own ass. I wish my dick was as tight as Kate's ass. Your asshole shrunk I get it. ** Kate - I'm too lazy to get out any monsterous silicon concoction. Nothing happens. Go on Tumblr and jerk off to trap porn and then cry. * I want Dadslapper. * Shut the fuck up Alex and get me some sausage. * I got some gas station sushi. I'm not doing good in the poop department. * I'm a valuable part of the show. People like me, sort of. * Matt has your penis gotten more muscular? ** Matt - No, it has gotten smaller. * One time in high school I tried to initiate sex by draping my balls over her shoulder, she was not very happy with me. * My old laptop, my butthole was next to Matt's dick in the same folder. It was meant to be. * Ugh Bailey Jay, the standard we are all measured and feel bad. ** Matt - She, she really looks like a girl and then she has the biggest fucking dick. It's ..... amazing! ** Kate - Back in the day before she was super famous I was like man she's the hottest tranny I've ever seen. And I'm having all this porn. Then when she got popular I got jealous and now I don't want to see you anymore. I'll never be as good as you and I hate you. ** Matt - Oh yeah Line Trap. ** Lindsey - Some people would look great as trannies. ** Matt - Yeah like Mitch. ** Alex - Trannies need to try so hard they surpass women looking like women. ** Lindsey - It's a rightful insecurity. ** Kate - Okay, thanks. (condescending tone) * Fucking Asians they always know. ** Matt - They come from the land of ladyboys. ** Alex - So Canada? ** Matt - You're allowed to know they exist, but you can't say it. Hey cumslut! ** Kate - Trap doesn't happen often. ** Matt - I wish it did. ** Alex - You are talking about the situation as it is. * I'm editing out the violent and raping children and its all you Matt. ** Matt - Why are you oppressing who I am? ** Kate - I don't want the bot to say I want to fuck the children tonight. ** Matt - My greatest wish is to burn all the faggot children. ** Kate - Exactly. ** Alex - Then why are you oppressing the bot? * I'm worried about real names like Dan Amrich. ** Alex - If I have to explain a robot to a guest, I will murder you. ** Mitch - 0blamo fucked all the children and now he's dead. * Tanktops are clothes but I won't go out with them because I'm ugly. * I'm glad you brought up gay fighting. * I wish a guest could pander to me. * If Goatse said too much semen I would get off the show. Matt * I tossed an ice block 3, 4 stories to the ground. I almost busted a window. * I want a top down side scroller. ** Kate - It's not side scrolling if it is top down. ** Alex - No the character is retarded. ** Lindsey - The 2d character can only move left and right in a 3 dimensional plane. * Attack on Titan gets good by being done. Fuck that show. * I haven't ate any spoiled food lately. I don't know it could be good. * I hate this honor bullshit. * Canada everything is built out of cardboard and snow. * I'm not paranoid Kate, if I had a gun I would shoot you. ** Kate - People in the US are barbarians. ** Alex - We can't play Shuffleboard to solve all our problems. ** Kate - Well maybe you should. * My cousins gay I know he wouldn't survive. * I did wrestling in high school and I still get butthurt when they call it gay. * In my mind I view myself as a skinny nerd. ** Kate - So you identify as one. ** Matt - No. * Do you like feminine dick or no dick at all? ** Lindsey - None. ** Mitch - Wait are you talking about me? I will kill you before the end of the night. * I wish I had a black friend so I could make gay jokes. * I can't remember the last time Christina saw my penis. * The only attractive penises are on futas. * Someday I will sleep with a tranny but it will be an accident. ** Kate - You went hunting for tranny dick. * When someone who is actually cool gets offended by what I say and messages me I will stop. ** Kate - Pussy. ** Alex - I mean people who are existing friends. Mitch * Social Justice Warrior sounds like a Reagan Saturday Morning Cartoon. * I watched an Annie May ** Kate - You're fucking gay. * Are you telling me our brains cannot handle real life FPS? ** Alex - Our brains are consoles. * We need to push Semen for SummerSlam. ** Lindsey - Semen has reached sustainable levels. ** Matt - In another 4 years we will be talking about fucking robots. Lindsey * AP courses are bullshit. Cost money to take the test. I took 5 tests Senior year. Passed them all. Didn't go to college. * (Disclaimer from TURbo AP courses only worth it going to college so you don't need to spend $600+ on credit hours + $200 textbook on a general ed course) ** Kate - I'm glad I failed high school. * I came out prematurely in the South. I fought a wrestling team that didn't know how to fight. Their solution of being gay is to beat the shit out of you. God bless the south. * First goddamn idiot punched and missed. He overextends. * Second guy is being hyped up. He punches and over extends. I reach my arm out. His arm pops out and his shoulder get dislocated. They drove away. No one bothered me. I became the Queen of Memes, Queers. A protector for some reason. ** Kate - That reminds me of a kid finger I broke. I don't know how but it happened. ** Matt - Is that why you like us? Because you can beat us up? * I went to Tim Horton's. ** Kate - I worked there for 2 weeks and got fired for saying rape and killing customers. ** Matt - I like that Dunkin Donuts, got a tranny and a dyke to argue. * (Slept with a guy) Bad ** Matt - It's always bad. ** Kate - I don't want to fuck a guy's ass. I'll fuck a girl's butt every which way to Sunday, but not touch a man's ass ever. ** Matt - Are you bi? I don't know you fucking people. (Kate said was bi in RA 24) ** Kate - Of course I'm bi. ** Matt - You could be identifying as a plant. I don't know what the fuck are anymore Kate. ** Kate - I'm not good at fucking women, but I'll do it. ** Lindsey - Quick note, it's not hard. ** Alex - If it's not hard, you're going to have more of a problem. ** Kate - It's easy if you use your face and your hands. ** Matt - I know everything from watching Lesbian porn. ** Kate - Jesus fucking christ critical lesbians everywhere. ** Lindsey - Guys have zero understanding of the female anatomy. They don't pee out of their vaginas. ** Alex - They pee out of their butts stupid. ** Mitch - Pergina. ** Alex - I learned everything about sex from crying and hiding. ** Lindsey - Women want to have pleasure. ** Matt - Yeah don't be a beta about it. ** Alex - Don't be a beta was that your muscle talking? ** Matt - When you have to compensate for failings. I haven't been with many woman, but I haven't had many dissatisfied customers. ** Matt - When I start out with that. ** Lindsey - That? ** Matt - The face. ** Kate - The thing about being bi is the grass in greener on the other side. When it was girls I miss guys. Now I really miss cunt. Get me some of that labia. ** Matt - Get Jon to have a sex change. ** Kate - I don't want Jon to be a cuntboy. ** Alex - Stab him on the side and don't make it heal right. ** Kate - Noooooooooooooo. * I don't like girls experimenting and getting used. ** Matt - You could be knee deep in pussy in college. ** Lindsey - It would be just one night stands. ** Alex - Tattoo Why not Zoidberg above the penis. * The grossest flaccid penis pic I ever seen. It was just balls. ** Matt - I'm sorry. ** Kate - I've seen my fair share of dick pics. * The only thing that bothers me is faggot. ** Alex - Then why are you on this show? ** Lindsey - When it is mean. ** Kate - Context and perspective is something Social Justice Warriors will never understand. ** Alex - Faggot shut the fuck up faggot (Sounds like Chop Suey) * There's more talking about things than nothing. <-- Previous Episode | [[Episode 162|Next Episode -->]] Category:Episode Category:Alex Category:Kate Category:Matt Category:Mitch Category:Guest